diary of an unhappy uterus | part four.
So it’s been a while since I’ve updated The Diary of an Unhappy Uterus. If you’re following me on Instagram you may have seen a couple of updates. FYI, Visanne did NOT work at all for me. Despite the persuading little booklet promising a ‘period and pain free life’, my body did not react well, and a week after taking it I had the lovely surprise of waking up in a red puddle. This was followed by a 3 am trip in an ambulance after poor Marcus found me on the bathroom floor screaming in pain and shaking uncontrollably. After my 48 hour hospital stay I was put back on the pill, and am seeing a new Gynae in late Jan / Feb of 2020.
That little episode was about 2 months ago. So far I have had two more ‘episodes’ (luckily I avoided the hospital as good old Endone knocked me out), with my most recent ‘endo episode’ being at work yesterday. I am still struggling with the fact that I let my colleagues see me at my worst. I know that after what happened yesterday, worrying about what other people thought of me should be the last of my worries, yet I find these intrusive thoughts entering my mind frequently.
As much as I struggle, I try very hard to avoid openly talking about the extent of my struggles in fear of seeming negative or whinge-y. Most of the people around me know about my Endo and know that I feel pain, but I like to keep it at just that. Just ‘a bit of pain here and there.’ Yesterday when I collapsed I felt like I let people see a side of me that I like to keep hidden, like the granny panties we all keep somewhere in our undie drawer.
I have taken off today as well. I feel significantly better than yesterday, but I need some time to box up that side of me and store it on the highest shelf, hidden from sight. I’m also going to sleep, a lot. I feel as though the mental side of the episode exhausts me just as much as the physical side. I’ll also need to prepare myself for tomorrow, as I can guarantee when I walk into work I’ll feel the need to sincerely apologise for the ordeal, as if I was apologising for flashing my granny panties to the world ❊